Going Sober 🍺 3 months in

On a more personal note - March 25th marks three months of living fully sober. And it. Feels. Amazing. I've experimented with cutting back before, but this is the first time it has truly stuck.

I began toying with the idea around summer 2024, aiming to reduce my drinking, but those half-measures didn't work. Looking back, I've been drinking consistently since I was 14 or 15 – that's roughly 15 years of my life. Every emotion I experienced became associated with alcohol:

• Celebration? Drink.
• Sad? Drink.
• Bored? Drink.

I didn't realize how deeply alcohol controls British culture until I tried to step away from it. My partner and I decided to consciously reduce our alcohol consumption together.

We started small. Both working in London, City of London borough, we'd treat ourselves after a long Tuesday or Wednesday to "just" a couple of craft beers instead of our usual 4-5. What we didn't recognize was how counterproductive this was – creating an illusion of control while maintaining the habit.

December arrived, and reality hit: our reduction strategy simply wasn't working. After a friend's birthday celebration where we drank far beyond our limits, got a "dirty" kebab, and passed out at home, we woke up feeling disgusted, weak, and frankly pathetic. That morning became my partner's last drink (around the second week of December).

For me, breaking free took longer.

For as long as I can remember, I've struggled in social situations and used alcohol as my social lubricant. I had cultivated a reputation as a "fish" – someone who could drink substantial amounts while appearing "fine." My confidence soared when friends would marvel, "I can't believe you're not drunk!" Little did they know, I probably remembered nothing from those nights.

Then came my work Christmas party, and something finally clicked. I realized I didn't need that drink. I didn't need to be there. I didn't need substances to become the person I wanted to be at social gatherings.

So I simply went home, French exit, Irish goodbye, pulled a houdini.

That was the last day I consumed a significant amount of alcohol. The final drink I had was a single beer with Christmas dinner (don't remember even finishing it) – and nothing since.

Benefits

What can I say about these three months of sobriety?

1. Sleep. Not only is my sleep quality vastly improved, but my entire sleep schedule has transformed. My internal circadian rhythm has stabilized. I naturally wake up between 6:00-6:30 AM and fall asleep between 10:30-11:00 PM, consistently, without fail.

2. Weight loss. I've struggled with consistent weight management for years. Since going sober, my weight has steadily decreased. I still enjoy food fully, but the additional empty calories from alcohol are gone. The graph below shows my weight tracking – notice how the trend is more consistently downward than ever before.

3. Identity. I'm more in tune with who I am and who I want to become. I feel prouder and happier. My goals align better with my vision for the future. I'm living for tomorrow while staying present in the moment.

4. Fitness. My endurance has skyrocketed. I can run longer, faster than before. I'm noticing a greater control of my body.

Challenges

On a personal level, simply not drinking has been surprisingly easy. The real challenges exist at the interpersonal level. Nearly every cultural touchpoint in the UK revolves around drinking. For the first two months, I avoided any situation involving alcohol, but that approach isn't sustainable long-term.

The ultimate test came on my 30th birthday – traditionally a rite of passage for getting absolutely "shitfaced." I didn't drink, and to my relief, there were no awkward questions or moments of doubt. Just a simple "Matt, do you want a drink? No? Cool!" I'm fortunate to have such a supportive group of friends who respect my choices.

Milestone thoughts

If you're contemplating going sober, try it. But go all in, don't half ass it.

Here are some resources that you might find useful:

• Bero alcoholoic free beer
• Dr Alex George
• Getting Sober Again

My recommendations - journal, keep track of your thoughts, feelings, weight and mood. Reflect often, realize your growths and strengths.